Let's face it, I'm a bull

Once my mother told me that it would take a team of wild horses to change my mind when I was convinced of something. Later in life, Jonathan told me that I'm like a battering ram that just keeps hitting the wall until it falls. I'd have to say, both these statements are pretty accurate. I'm stubborn. I'm bull headed. And the only thing that really keeps me from plowing my way through life (leaving behind helpless victims) is the grace of God.

As of Wednesday/Thursday we decided that we're not finding out whether we're having a boy or a girl.

Can I just say that this is no small issue for me? In my mind, I figured that I could (and would) plow my way through this issue just like I have done many times in the past. My way or the highway. Geez, don't you feel bad for my husband? Out of all the women in the world, he winds up with a stubborn mule. Anyways, at women's prayer on Wednesday I was convicted that I needed to really surrender over my will on the "gender issue" to Jonathan. As an act of obedience to the Lord, I told Jonathan that ultimately my heart's desire was/is to follow him more than to find out the sex of our baby. *Honesty time: What I really meant was "I want to follow after you but still get my way. I'm saying these things because I mean them, but we're still going to find out. Right?"*

God makes me laugh. Because He created me, He knows me inside and out. Ok, Sarah's will is bending, but her heart still isn't one hundred percent. How can I, the creator of Heaven and Earth, ensure that not only do I have my daughter's will, but her heart? Oh, right, I'll just not let her have an ultrasound.

Say what?!

As I am slowing my battering ram down (so that the wall doesn't fall at such a rate that my husband would really notice until after it came down) God reinforces the wall. It turns out that our insurance won't cover our ultrasound. Which means, that if we want to have one, we have to pay out of pocket (which will be over $500). Now, there are some side stories - if my midwife thinks that we still need one we can have one (that is covered) but rather than calling it "routine" it will need to be "medical". However, one of the nurses I spoke to yesterday said that the likelihood of us having one is small, since we've delivered one healthy child, had an ultrasound with this baby, and so far the pregnancy has been smooth.

And of course through all of this I am a calm and collected Christian. Hahaha! I make myself laugh. I'm a bull, remember. I get this news and call every single resource I know of in order to help me take down this wall. I mean, come on, now it's not about the "gender issue" it's about the safety of my child. After all, you can't possibly deliver a healthy child without an ultrasound. The midwife might miss something. I might miss something. The ultrasound is the only way to determine the outcome of my baby.

Or not.

I spent most of Thursday in a bad mood. I won't lie. I was a slight pain in the butt. Perhaps I went from battering ram to one of those oxen they use in running of the bulls - horns out to get anyone. All the same, it took a good 24 hours before I realized that the wall wasn't moving. And that God was still good.

I called my sweet sister-in-law to tell her this most disastrous news. Her response: "Sarah, praise God! Your heart's desire was to follow your husband, and now He made it possible to do so without any temptation or unnecessary debt." Riiight... Not exactly what I was going for, but hey if what she said was what God needed for me to hear in order to get through my bull head, it worked. I started to realize that God is giving me a way out. All the time I knew that I wanted and needed to follow after Jonathan, but in the back of my mind had plans to still find out the gender. I was going to knowingly sin. I was going to knowingly disrespect Jonathan. Wow! Am I a lovely person or what?! Rather than go through all of that, God simply said "No." And I am pretty okay with that. He knows what He is doing. He knows what is best for my life, my child's life, my family. Who better to put my trust in then the Almighty?

"And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you." Psalm 39:7

Julia Mabel

One year ago today I set out on a life changing course. I became the mother to a wonderful, beautiful daughter. Our first months together were rocky, actually, that might be an understatement. I had no clue how to feed, clean, change or care for this tiny life that expected everything from me. Then there was the crying. Endless crying. I mean, I can't totally blame a person for being upset when they have gas, especially when they have never actually used their internal organs. But still, crying babies aren't fun. I don't care who you are, they just aren't. It's a proven fact. And to top that off, if you've read any post on my blog you are all too familiar with our anti-sleep rules. Technically, they aren't Jonathan and mine's, but Julia's. So, roll together complete ignorance, complete dependance, raging hormones and emotions and you will get a new mother.

I can remember thinking that everyone around me seemed to "get it". All the other moms seemed to have their lives together, knowing beyond a doubt what each cry meant, what each grunt would or would not lead to. I felt like I had stepped into a final totally unprepared, with a sense of utter failure.

But God is good. Oh so good.

One year has past. I will never say that I am a perfect mom, but I will say that I am the best mom for Julia. I can read her almost better than I can myself. I know when she is tired, hungry, angry, happy, or frustrated. I understand her "signs" for more, food, and all done. I know that certain situations will delight her, while others upset her past consolation. I have become her mom.

Through this past year, learning who Julia is has not been my biggest feat. More than that, has been learning who God is through me. I am continually humbled and amazed at who God is, who He has called me to be, and how that relationship reflects on my parenting.

I always thought it silly when people said that God wants to be in control of every area of your life, every area of your parenting. But I have come to learn that it is so true. I can tell when I am in control and when the Holy Spirit is in control. I know the difference between Sarah-led Parenting and God-led Parenting. And in those moments I realize that there is no way I can make it without God. There is no way that I can produce a kingdom building, God loving, selfless daughter unless I am that way. And I can't be that way unless I center absolutely everything on Christ. Funny how that circle works.

My life is blessed. My daughter is a blessing beyond what I could imagine. She has been a true delight this past year and I am looking forward to many, many more.

In celebration today, we will be having poppyseed chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and chocolate cake. This is my birthday dinner each year and I am passing it along to Julia. :)

My life in two years

Today I got to watch my friend, Leah's, almost 3 year old girl, Belle. It was a lot of fun, and gave me a good insight to what my life will look like in two years with a 3 year old and *gasp* 18 month old.

Here are just a few of my favorite moments:

*Choices*

Me: Belle, what would you like to drink? Milk or water?

Belle: Apple juice.

Me: We don't have apple juice. Just milk or water.

Belle: Lemonade.

Me: Water it is!

*Where's your daddy?*

Belle: Where's Jonathan?

Me: He's at work.

Belle: Why?

Me: Well, he works during the day just like your daddy.

Belle: You mean Jason.

Me: *laugh* Yes, Jason.

*Animal or food?*

Me: Belle, do you know what that is? (pointing to a gorilla in a picture book)

Belle: No.

Me: It's a gorilla.

Belle: I eat granola!

Me: *laughs* No sweetie, I said gorilla, not granola.

Belle: Well, it sounds like granola. I eat granola.

After that, I don't think I will ever be able to eat granola again without thinking about gorillas. They really do sound alike!

*Obeying*

Me: Belle, thank you so much for obeying and cleaning up!

Belle: My mom obeys me.

There was more to this conversation (don't worry Leah! I think she was a little confused as she later said she obeys you), but I was rolling on the floor at this point.

Ahh, things are going to get interesting in the Windham household!

One of those days

You know when you have one of those days. A day where you are counting down the hours and minutes until you can crawl back into bed, white flag waving. Yesterday was one of those days.

Julia and I both are suffering from our first "winter" colds. Poor little girl (and poor mama!) woke up at 12:30 am because she couldn't breath through her nose, didn't go back to sleep till close to 1:30 and woke up for the day at 4:45 am. Not quite how I wanted to start my day.

But, in all things rejoice.

As a way to love and support me, Jonathan surprised me last night with:

a bag of M&M's
a hand written love note
a bouquet of flowers
and....


a roll of Christmas wrapping paper.

He's the best.

Wordless Wednesday AND Truthful Thursday

"Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you!" Psalm 71:6

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:13-16

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates." Psalm 127:3-5


Go here, for more Wordless Wednesday.

Info on the blog above

Jonathan and I found out Thursday night that we are indeed pregnant! I am only about 5 weeks along, so things are just beginning. We have our first appointment with our midwife on October 24th. Over the last few days, I've been experiencing morning (rather, all day) sickness and fatigue. I can't say that the fatigue is just because of the new baby, as much as the fact that Julia is becoming more and more mobile and keeping me on my toes.

Please keep us in your prayers: that this pregnancy goes smoothly and babe and I stay healthy, that any fears that might arise in me stay at bay, that our family continues to trust in God through all things.

We'll keep you updated as Baby Dubya Dos progresses!

War. What is it good for?

I must say that I've been known to be a politically charged person. Being that I am very opinionated, the two go hand in hand. But, if by the title of my post you were hoping for my opinion on this year's election and how I view the Iraqi war, I'm sorry to say you will be disappointed.

However, if you were hoping for something a little more enjoyable, then I have good news.

I recently got Grandma's Wartime Kitchen: World War II and the Way We Cooked from the library. The idea behind the cookbook is to show you how our grandmothers cooked while having their food rationed. I must say I am loving this book!

I just made Swedish Meatballs last week that were an absolute hit. All of the recipes call for items that you most likely already have tucked away in your pantry or fridge, making dinner time just that much easier.

Now, I will let you know, these recipes aren't necessarily "health friendly", given that the desserts call for corn syrup and most of the dinners call for vegetable shortening. However, you can easily replace these items with olive oil, honey, agave or such. Mainly, the idea is to cook with what you have, use all your resources and be mindful of what you eat.

While I enjoy going through different cook books each month, I might be persuaded to make this one a permanent item. It's pretty much the greatest.

Swedish Meatballs

1 pound ground beef
1 cup day-old bread crumbs (about 3 slices) - *Just process the bread to make the crumbs
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon vegetable shortening - *I used olive oil
1 1/4 cup milk
2 tablespoon all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350*F.
Combine ground beef, bread, egg, onion, 1/4 teaspoon salt, allspice and pepper. Shape mixture into 24 meatballs.
Heat shortening in a 3-quart Dutch oven. Add meatballs and saute until brown on all sides; remove to bowl. Add 1 cup milk to the Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Stir remaining milk and flour together, add to boiling milk mixture along with remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Return meatballs to sauce. Cover and bake 30 minutes. Serve from Dutch oven.

Some variations that I made: I don't have a Dutch oven, so I just browned the meat in a regular pan. Then I moved them to a small baking dish. I made the sauce in the pan I used for the meat, then poured it over top the meatballs, covered with foil and baked.

Cha-ching!

Sometimes I wish I was more frugal. That's not to say that I spend money like a crazy woman, but I don't cut coupons or actively search out good deals. Take clothes shopping. I'm not a super big fan of shopping, so if I find something I like and it's on sale, I'll buy it. However, Jonathan wants to make sure that he is getting the absolute best deal. If there are a pair of jeans for $2 less at another store, he will get those - even if they aren't his favorite brand/color/best size. Me, I don't really care all that much. I just want in and out as fast as possible.

This last weekend, my friend, Leah, sent out a coupon for $1 off organic canned tomatoes. This particular brand is at Wal-Mart for $1.49, but, this month the co-op had them on sale for $1.29 (normally $2.29) - since the co-op runs their sales on a monthly basis (1st-30/31st) I sometimes forget their prices. So, this afternoon I ate lunch at the co-op with Jonathan and saw that the cans were an even better deal there with my coupon than at Wal-Mart. I didn't have the coupons on me, so decided to come back after Julia woke up from her afternoon nap.

I printed off 19 coupons (random number - I thought I had done 20) and went to pick up eggs, milk, yogurt and my discounted cans.

I must admit I felt a little weird with so many cans and using so many coupons. Not sure why, just like I was putting out the cashier or what not. But, the end result was worth it.

19 cans of organic diced tomatoes not on sale - $43.51

19 cans of organic diced tomatoes on sale - $24.51

19 cans of organic diced tomatoes on sale with coupon - $5.51

Total money saved - $38

Sarah's new found joy of saving money - Priceless

I waited 4 years, for this?

It can't be denied, that when you wait for something, it tends to pay off. Sometimes, sometimes, however, it back fires.

I haven't eaten McDonald's for four years. I went on a McD's fast/boycott after watching Super Size Me. Then from there, I slowly cut out more and more fast food restaurants.

Until this past weekend.

Jonathan, Julia and I went to Tennessee. On Saturday we woke up and decided to grab a good filling breakfast. Now, I haven't been to Tennessee in a few years, but I could have sworn that there were a few breakfast places in town, yet we could not find a single one.

We went to Wal-Mart resolved to pick up some fruit, yogurt and juice. As we passed by the in-house McDonald's Jonathan remarks on stopping there. I flatly said no, we'd surely regret it. But, by the time we were leaving (good foods in hand) we decided we'd just get one of their chicken biscuits.

One bite. That's all it took. One bite to ask myself: I waited four years, for this?

The biscuit was dry, the chicken overly greasy - as it shot grease on the side of my face when I bit into it. Complete let down.

Lesson learned. Now, not only do I boycott McDonald's because one morning sandwich is 20 grams of fat (perhaps that's why I felt sick all day?!), but they are also fail in the tasty category.

So long McDonald's. Fare thee well, may we never meet again.

Go ahead, laugh

Last weekend Jonathan told me that he was going to cut his own hair. I started laughing so hard, I had to cross my legs to keep from peeing. Seriously, cut your own hair?! But, he was determined, saying that it couldn't be that hard, he just needed the right tools. So we borrowed a clipper set from Leah and spent Saturday night cuttin' hair. I must admit, he did a pretty good job, only needing my help for some blending and his neck line.

Today I went to have my hair cut and trimmed. My previous stylist is no longer at the cosmetology school where I go, so based on a recommendation I saw a different girl, who is actually pretty good.

I should preface this by saying I am really, really picky about my hair. However, I tend not to actually saying when I don't like something, and when I do say anything, I am a little sheepish. I'm growing out of this and have, especially since I'm dealing with students, learned to voice my concerns and suggestions, but I'm still not all the way there.

Well, today, I told the girl that cut my hair, that while I wanted exactly what I had, only shorter, she should feel free to do as she pleased. So, she went shorter. She also went "choppier", as this is the in style. As she was cutting my hair, I surveyed the room and saw that every one with short hair, had choppy hair. I could see where this was going. I'm not one for "choppy". I like smooth, finely placed hair. I don't want chop. I want smooth. But do I say a thing? Nope.

Since my hair wasn't styled the way I usually do every day, I just figured all would be fine by the time I went home and did my thing. But alas, when I was fixing everything up, I realized that my hair just wasn't doing what I was hoping for. While I think the choppy look is super cute on others, it just isn't for me. I felt like things were all out of whack, even at the insistence of everyone telling me it was fine, just not exactly the same as before.

Around 5pm, I told Jonathan I needed to call the Salon and go back in to have the girl fix my hair. I just couldn't keep it this way, as it would bother me. Jonathan asked if I really wanted to spend the time driving across town just to have my hair fixed to my "perfections". Of course not. But at the same time, I didn't want to wait another 4 weeks until my next appointment. Especially since we're heading to Tennessee in less than two weeks. So, what do we agree upon? To have Jonathan fix it himself. Well, it's only hair, right?. It'll grow back, right? Cut it. Fix it up. Just don't laugh when it's all said and done.

Thus, we spent nearly two hours of our Saturday night cutting my hair. Go ahead, laugh.

I will admit, we aren't pros. But one thing is for sure: it looks pretty good in my own opinion. Jonathan did a really good job. And if nothing else, we had a really fun time doing it.

Fifty millions posts rolled into one...

Not really, I tend to exaggerate sometimes. All the same, I haven't had much time to write lately, so rather than trying to remember several ideas for different posts I'd just much rather write one.

My husband

Jonathan turns 30 in t-minus 4 hours. He is spending his last few moments as a "20-something" sleeping, since he was on Julia duty from 2-4 last night. Ah, what a way to ring in such a momentous birthday. In all seriousness, I just want to announce to the blogging world that Jonathan pretty much rocks. I fully understand that my love for him is different than anyone else's, but still, in case you were wondering, I think he's pretty much amazing. Happy birthday Jonny.*

Mexican Mamacita

I feel that I am fully on my way to becoming a bona fide mamacita. This is something that I have wanted to achieve for quite some time. While I have been able to piece together bits of mamacita likeness, I have not quite captured the mamacita cooking. However, spending the last two weeks with the Mamacita of all mamacitas (Jonathan's grandma) has helped finally (in my opinion) push me over the edge. I've learned how to cook a gauntlet of dishes that would win me much praise among the Hispanics in Texas. My favorite of them has been, drum roll please, Tortillas! I now know how to make flour tortillas from scratch. Even made some tonight! I'm perfecting my technique, but once I feel satisfied with my performance I do promise to teach anyone who wants to learn.

Stuff that piggy

As always, we are still on the quest for helping Julia sleep through the night. Seeing as crying it out didn't favor to well, we're trying a sweeter, more hands on approach. We are stuffing her face like a piggy.

I've started to see a pattern in her morning naps. If she is well feed and has spent an adequate amount of time in the mei tai then she tends to sleep really well (like, say 2 1/2 hours that she did today). So we figured we'd try it out. I carried her for about an hour tonight, then we feed her all the oatmeal and prunes she could handle (1/4 cup dry oatmeal and a 4 oz jar of prunes - not sure how much that makes, as the oatmeal expands when it is wet). Here's to hoping we found something that might work!

How to be green in an ungreen world

Let's face it, Texans aren't known for being green. Unless you live in Austin, your idea of green is... well I was going to say grass, but seeing as it's August that doesn't really exist anywhere in Texas. Needless to say, green isn't the "thing" to do. But, since my sister, Shelly, has voiced her desire to be a little more green, I thought I'd share some ideas for going green in a covert way (like how I used covert, Shelly? That's just for Jesse).

1. Change your cleaning products. No one will really notice this but you, so they can't look at you all funny with their big Dallas hair and say "Well, hun, you sure has changed since you been gone" (said in the best Southern drawl I can manage).

2. Plant a garden. This would be a terrific way to teach Katie and Madeline about their food source and allow them to have a sense of pride when they eat their harvest. I know, I know, it seems like a lot of work, so do something easy. Do a tomato plant or two, and some peppers. Then when you harvest, you can make salsa!

3. Walk more often. In TEXAS?! Yeah, I remember how hot it is. But still, walking not only is a health benefit, it saves on gas. So walk as much as you can. You can even make it a family affair in the evenings after dinner, when it's a bit cooler.

4. Plug your computer/tv into power strips that you turn off after every use. Even when electronics are "off" they stil use energy. However, if you essentially "unplug" them (reason for the strip) then they stop using up energy. This is also important for kitchen appliances, just maybe not your fridge.

5. Recycle and reuse. This might be a little more obvious, since the neighbors will see your recycling bin each week, but it's a great idea. It teaches you to be more aware of the items in your house that are recyclable, it will allow the girls to use their imaginations to reuse items, and it will cut back on your trash every week.

So, those are my ideas for going green in Texas. Hope the neighbors don't kick you out of the association!

*Here's a little ditty for my honey:


Lyrics | Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want Is You lyrics

I'm gonna wash that smoke right outta my hair!

I love a lot of things about my house and neighborhood. How close we are to the park, the ability to host a number of people, having a fenced in backyard, and having nice neighbors. However, one HUGE downside is that our adjoining neighbors smoke. This pretty much sucks.

They smoke on their back porch multiple times a day, forcing me to shut our doors and windows for anywhere from 10-30 minutes at a time. If we're outside when they smoke we inevitably go inside, because the smoke quickly makes its way over. I think there is some kind of science to that... smoke will always follow non-smokers.

It upsets me a lot, because I don't ever want Julia in the backyard while they are there, and I know that come this time next year keeping her from going out there will be next to impossible. Plus, why should I? After all, it is MY yard.

The good news is, it looks like we will be placing a barrier along our fence line this fall. In preparation for next year's garden, we decided having a barrier would help us maintain the garden while providing privacy and a smoke free environment. While Jonathan and I have bounced this idea around since last summer, we never went through with it, mostly because we didn't want to upset our neighbors. But since Grandma got here and realized my dilemma, she took the matter into her own hands. She flat out told Jonathan and me "you're putting up a barrier, deal with it" - but in her sweet Grandma sorta way.

I realize that some of the smoke will still make its way over (as that is the science of smoke), but at least I can rest assured that it will be much, much less.

After reading the ALA's website, it makes me even happier to know that we are taking every step possible to shield ourselves from secondhand smoke.

Secondhand Smoke Fact Sheet

Secondhand smoke, also know as environmental tobacco smoke (ETS), is a mixture of the smoke given off by the burning end of a cigarette, pipe or cigar and the smoke exhaled from the lungs of smokers. It is involuntarily inhaled by nonsmokers, lingers in the air hours after cigarettes have been extinguished and can cause or exacerbate a wide range of adverse health effects, including cancer, respiratory infections, and asthma.

Secondhand smoke has been classified by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as a known cause of cancer in humans (Group A carcinogen).

Secondhand smoke exposure causes disease and premature death in children and adults who do not smoke. Secondhand smoke contains hundreds of chemicals known to be toxic or carcinogenic, including formaldehyde, benzene, vinyl chloride, arsenic ammonia and hydrogen cyanide.

Secondhand smoke causes approximately 3,400 lung cancer deaths and 22,700-69,600 heart disease deaths in adult nonsmokers in the United States each year.

Nonsmokers exposed to secondhand smoke at work are at increased risk for adverse health effects. Levels of secondhand smoke in restaurants and bars were found to be 2 to 5 times higher than in residences with smokers and 2 to 6 times higher than in office workplaces.

Since 1999, 70 percent of the U.S. workforce worked under a smoke-free policy, ranging from 83.9 percent in Utah to 48.7 percent in Nevada. Workplace productivity was increased and absenteeism was decreased among former smokers compared with current smokers.

Eighteen states - Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, Washington and Vermont - as well as the District of Columbia prohibit smoking in almost all public places and workplaces, including restaurants and bars. Montana and Utah prohibit smoking in most public places and workplaces, including restaurants; bars will go smokefree in 2009. New Hampshire prohibits smoking in some public places, including all restaurants and bars. Four states - Florida, Idaho, Louisiana and Nevada - prohibit smoking in most public places and workplaces, including restaurants, but exempt stand-alone bars. Fifteen states partially or totally prevent (preempt) local communities from passing smokefree air ordinances stronger than the statewide law. Iowa, Nebraska and Oregon have passed legislation prohibiting smoking in almost all public places and workplaces, including restaurants and bars, but the laws have not taken effect yet.

Secondhand smoke is especially harmful to young children. Secondhand smoke is responsible for between 150,000 and 300,000 lower respiratory tract infections in infants and children under 18 months of age, resulting in between 7,500 and 15,000 hospitalizations each year, and causes 430 sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) deaths in the United States annually. - That pretty much scares the bejebbies outta me!

Secondhand smoke exposure may cause buildup of fluid in the middle ear, resulting in 790,000 physician office visits per year. Secondhand smoke can also aggravate symptoms in 400,000 to 1,000,000 children with asthma.

In the United States, 21 million, or 35 percent of, children live in homes where residents or visitors smoke in the home on a regular basis. Approximately 50-75 percent of children in the United States have detectable levels of cotinine, the breakdown product of nicotine in the blood.

Research indicates that private research conducted by cigarette company Philip Morris in the 1980s showed that secondhand smoke was highly toxic, yet the company suppressed the finding during the next two decades.

The current Surgeon General’s Report concluded that scientific evidence indicates that there is no risk-free level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Short exposures to secondhand smoke can cause blood platelets to become stickier, damage the lining of blood vessels, decrease coronary flow velocity reserves, and reduce heart rate variability, potentially increasing the risk of heart attack. - Just perfect.

Completely (and totally) unsure; completely (and totally) reliant

I think one of the funniest things about parenting is that everything, literally everything, is trial and error. And perhaps by funny what I really mean is, so exhausting that you eventual give up and laugh (notice my time stamp).

Somewhere in the ballpark of 4 months of age, we realized that Julia really, really needed to just cry herself to sleep. I'm pretty certain Jonathan realized this long before I did, but at some point we both looked at each other through sleep deprived eyes and said "It's go time". Here's what I really love about this whole process: Julia seems to take way longer than what I think is humanly possible to catch on to the idea of sleeping. Like, really, isn't sleep natural? Shouldn't a baby just want to sleep? I honestly think she came out of the womb thinking "Mom? Dad? What is this thing you guys are wanting me to do? You seriously expect me to quite down, shut my eyes and sleep? Hmm. No."

From the get go, sleep and Julia seem to have been a struggle (she gets that from her dad, seeing as I can fall asleep just about anywhere and anytime). So, like I said, somewhere around 4 months old we started letting her cry at night. First night she cried from 11pm to 6 am. Ok, does that seem slightly over the top to anyone else? I mean, come on little girl. At some point I really thought she'd give up. But she never did. Impressive!

After some serious tears shed during the day (we had stopped swaddling her at night, but continued to during the day; this made for lots of crying at night and lots of heavy sleeping during the day - like around 6+ hours), Julia finally started sleeping at night. Beautiful!

Then about a month after that, we regressed to waking up twice a night. I blamed it on a growth spurt. Well, if that is what it is, my daughter should be Yao Ming by now! So we went back to crying it out. This time around I didn't feel quite so bad. I figured she'd reached the age where she was mentally/emotionally capable of self-soothing (which happens around 6 months), so a little crying wouldn't hurt.

We're nearly three months into this next crying it out stage. Julia still hasn't grasped that night time is for sleep time, and so we've thrown our hands in the air. Sometime last week (or maybe the week before that... time seems to start to blur) Jonathan and I decided that for the sake of everyone we'd stop CIO. While this means that I'm still waking up nightly (ranging from 1-3 times on average) with Julia, we all at least get to go back to sleep fairly quickly. Unlike with CIO, which lasted 2-5 hours. Each night (well, 5 out of 7). For three months.

But, tonight Julia threw me a curve ball. She woke up around 1am. We nursed, I put her back down, and she starts crying. Sweet. So, I figured she'd really just have to deal with life and go back to bed. I gave her a set time to cry (mentally I did this, I didn't actually say "Ok, Julia, you can cry until such and such time before I come back in here"). But seeing as I can't actually sleep when she's fussy I decided to get on the laptop to pass the time. Fortunately for her, the time was pretty quick. Unfortunately for me, I can't seem to fall back to sleep.

Needless to say, I've come to realize that parenthood really is about having absolutely no clue what you are doing and just really hoping to stumble upon the right answer. For this kid. Since everything changes for the next one. And in the moments that I realize this, it makes me bow my knee before God, pray for wisdom, grace, patience and love abounding, because I know that I am completely clueless and totally reliant upon Him.

Anniversary Extravaganza 2008!

Jonathan and I celebrated 3 years of marriage on Wednesday. My, my, how the time has flown! These last three years have been wonderful, challenging, life changing and, let's face it, hilarious (how could it not be when you're married to a guy like Jonathan?!).

Sticking with our tradition we dubbed this year's celebration Anniversary Extravaganza. Now, really, this year wasn't quite the extravaganza we've come to know and love (and my guess is it won't be for a few more years) but all the same it was pretty awesome. Thanks to our good friends, Ambre and Erik, who watched Julia, Jonathan and I went out to dinner and then had massages. The massages were nice, but dinner... dinner was FABULOUS! We went to Devotay in Downtown IC. It is my new favorite. We wined and dined on Amish beer, locally grown veggies, buffalo meatballs and a yummy, yummy cheesy zucchini sandwich (which was hands down the best sandwich I have ever consumed!). All in all, it was a pretty great night. I am super excited to have been a Windham for these here 3 years, and looking forward to many, many more Windham years.

And in the words of Juno, as far as husbands go, Jonathan is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And I love him dearly.

These are a few of my favorite things... (sung like Julie Andrews)

Since we've made some crazy green changes in the Windham household, I've come to have some new favorites that I can't sing about enough. Really, I do actually sing about them. Mostly to Julia who thinks I still have a pretty voice.

1. Lentils. I'm not sure why, but lentils just never seemed all that appealing. But since we're having two vegetarian meals a week, lentils were bound to get into the rotation. So last night I made Curried Lentils with Vegetables. Can I just say "Yuuuummmy!". Man, that stuff was delicious! Thanks to my success with last night's meal, lentils are now making their way to my favorite things list.

2. Curry. Curry scares me. Not the taste, because I love, love, love curry, but actually preparing it makes me really nervous. Whenever I see my favorite Indian dishes I always imagine that it must have taken hours and hours plus years of experience to create such a scrumptous dish. Turns out it just takes curry powder. Ha, who knew?

3. Bummis Super Brite Wraps. Sounds like a food, but it's a babe butt cover. These Bummis' have gussets that help keep the cloth diaper (as well as the contents of the diaper) in the wrap. They are a bit more handwashing friendly then their cousin, Bummis Super Whisper. But the gussets alone were what sold me.

4. DTV. We just got the digital converter box for out TV. Despite the fact that we did actually lose some channels (long story there), we did gain two PBS stations! And since we Windhams love our PBS, it has been a wonderful addition to have.

5. Finally, a picture of three of my most favorite things, ever.

Ready, set, go!

And she's off!

Julia is offically crawling! About a month ago she started getting up on all fours, rocking back and forth and then *splat*. Well yesterday, I sat her down, started doing something, looked back and she was moving! She's pretty slow, needs lots of encouragement, but she will go from on side of the livingroom to the other.

But wait, that's not all! She's also pulling herself up too!

Pretty amazing stuff.

I will say she looks mighty funny when she crawls, as it is not the traditional knee crawling, but foot/knee crawling:





Good thing we set this up recently:



And here she is pulling herself up:

10 ways (plus 1) that we're going green

I've been trying to help our family become more green and earth friendly over the past couple of months. It's surprising how easy it is to be green when you put in a little effort. However, I will say that so far the most challenging thing I've faced is being unable to go "all-green" all at once. My personality tends to be an extremist. I like it full tilt or not at all. But this whole green thing does take time to ease into, at least for our family. If it were just me, I'm sure I'd abandon everything, buying only earth friendly things and live in a tent. Since I need to be mindful of showing grace to Jonathan and Fletcher while we transition we're doing things slowly. Ultimately we're getting there and that in of itself is awesome.

So here are the ways we've gone green thus far:

1. Personal reusable shopping bags. Wal-Mart has these really nice black simple bags that are made out of recycled material. They hold a ton of stuff (I have four and that's all I need for all my groceries - and then I normally just need 2, maybe 3), are washable and when folded up, one fits nicely in my purse so I always have one on me.

2. No more 'poo. Thanks to Ambre I have gone head first (pun intended) into the world of no shampooing. Instead I've begun doing a baking soda wash with an apple cider vinegar rinse about every 3-4 days. This is going into my second week, so I'm still working out the kinks, but so far I'm really loving the results. I got the majority of my info from this site.

3. No more paper towels. It seems like our household goes through paper towels like water. So week before last I announced at dinner that I would not be buying anymore paper towels. Needless to say there were shock waves that came over Jonathan and Fletcher. They have been conserving our last roll like it's precious jewels and it's lasted us almost two weeks! Amazing. Now, in place of the paper towels I have gotten 36 hand clothes. They are conveniently placed in the kitchen so the guys will know right where they are and will use them for all their previous paper towel needs. Realizing that there will be times that we need paper towels (for large parties and such) I'm going to buy them on a 1 roll as needed basis, going with Seventh Generation from Hy-Vee or New Pi.

4. Enjoy the heat! I am NOT one for hot weather. Sure, sure, I'm a Texan and so therefore should be completely use to heat. Wrong. I would much rather never sweat, never be "overheated" and enjoy the comfort of cool weather (mid-60's to 70's would be ideal). But, we've started leaving our windows open and running the ceiling fans to circulate cool air. However, I will say that the last two days have been too hot for me and so I've been running the A/C, just at a much higher setting than in the past.

5. Recycle, reuse. Perhaps because I am a snob, I was never one for recycling and NEVER one for reusing. But, I've buckled down and started to do both. And you know what, it's pretty sweet. We throw away a lot less trash and I really feel like I'm doing something good for the environment.

6. Homemade toothpaste. Again, like the 'no pooing this is a work in progress. My reasoning behind it is similar to no 'poo; healthier, better for the environment, cheaper, etc. You use baking soda and salt as the two main cleaning/abrasive agents. You can either add in extracts for flavoring or just do the plain and simple version. There are other methods to making your own dry cleaners, or to making an actual paste. Merely for the ease of it all, I'm sticking with the baking soda/salt combo, doing a hydrogen peroxide mouth rinse. It's not the best tasting stuff, but it's working. I'm thinking of adding in cinnamon since the bs/s/hp doesn't leave me with a I-just-brushed-my-teeth fresh breath feel I like.

7. Homemade soap. I did some research on making your own soap in order to get the right cleansing agents for your type body. I got an olive oil base glycerin that works great for most everyone's skin and some lavender essential oil (which acts as an astringent and supposedly calms and relaxes you). You can buy everything at Hobby Lobby for under $20 and it works great and smells really good.

8. Join a CSA. CSAs allow you to buy your produce straight from local farms. By doing this, you not only support local farms, but you cut down on emissions emitted into the air from trucks driving your food from one side of the country to another. Plus, your food is fresh, organic and yummier.

9. Buy energy efficient appliances. Since the beginning of the year we've purchased an energy efficient washer, dryer and dish washer. Both washers are "smart washers" which means they sense how much water is needed to clean the dishes or clothes and use only the amount of water necessary to get the job done. The dryer does something similar, which is nice because it usually dries a full load in under 30 minutes.

10. Buy good-for-the-earth cleaning products, or make them yourself. See my post, Green clean.

11. Cloth diapers. So I did it. We've purchased our trial set of cloth diapers for Julia. In a few short days I will be washing all her poo. Yeah! For those of you wanting to do some cloth diaper research, check out Green Mountain Diapers. The site is run by a Christian SAHM and it is by far the best site I've found yet.

Green clean

We've been trying to go more green in our household cleaning products the last fews months. Clorox has a great new line called Green Works that is relatively inexpensive and good. They are made from plant-based material, and reminds me a bit of dandelions. The test for me with any cleaner is that after I'm done cleaning I don't feel like I have toxins on me and that I would have no concern picking up Julia before washing my hands.

However, my one complaint, is that we get some pretty nasty soap scum in our shower that Green Works can't seem to fight. So far, only super harsh smelling toxic cleaners get the tub back to white, and that's after major elbow grease added on my part.

Until, yesterday. Yesterday I decided to try out some ideas I had read about on the blog Green Parenting. The blogger lists all the household products you can use as cleaners, how much is needed, and what works best for each area of the house.

So yesterday, I pour baking soda and vingear in my tub. I let it set, and WALLA, I now have a super white tub again. I would venture to say if you use the vingear alone, it will do the job just fine, but some part of me liked have the volcano effect of the two ingredients and the extra cleaning power of the baking soda. Also, I found that there was some comic relief in knowing that the connoction I've starting using to washing my hair can also clean up my tub (***look for a no 'poo blog in the future***).

At any rate, here's the list I found and thought I'd share.

SUPPLIES:

VG[inegar]— naturally cleans like an all-purpose cleaner.VGis a great natural cleaning product as well as a disinfectant and deodorizer. Always test on an inconspicuous area. Improperly dilutedVGis acidic and can eat away at tile grout. Never useVGon marble surfaces. The smell disappears when it dries. Helps break down detergent in laundry. Use it to clean coffeepots, glass, paintbrushes, grout, windows and fireplaces.
LJ[lemon Juice] – Another natural substance used to clean your home. Can rot after 2 weeks.
Baking Soda [BS] – Cleaning agent even after used up as fridge deoderizer. Cleans, deodorizes, softens W, scours.
Soap – unscented natural soap in liquid form, flakes, powders or bars is biodegradable and will clean just about anything.
Borax [BX] - cleans, deodorizes, disinfects, softens W, cleans wallpaper, painted walls and floors.
WhiteVinegar [VG]- cuts grease, removes mildew, odors, some stains and wax build-up.
Washing Soda[WS] - or SAL Soda is sodium carbonate decahydrate, a mineral. Washing soda cuts grease, removes stains, softens W, cleans wall, tiles, sinks and tubs. Use care, as washing soda can irritate mucous membranes. Do not use on aluminum.
Ethanol or 100 proof Alcohol & water[RA} - is an excellent disinfectant.
Cornstarch - can be used to clean windows, polish furniture, shampoo carpets and rugs.
Citrus Solvent - cleans paint brushes, oil and grease, some stains.
Murphy’s Oil Soap, Bar Keeper’s Friend, Bon Ami


SOLUTIONS:

AIR FRESHENERS: See Odor.

AIR PURIFIERS:
Benzene: (paint, plastic, ink, oil): English ivy, chrysanthemum, Gerbera daisy
Formaldehyde: (plywood, pressed-wood, furniture, fire retardants in mattresses): Spider plant, golden pothos, bamboo palm, azalea, Aloe vera, Philodendron
Trichloroethylene: (printing inks, paints, lacquers, varnishes, adhesives): Peace lily, warneckei, Dracaena marginata

CLEANERS (Kitchen/Bathroom):
All Purpose:
1. Simplest: 1 p. VG, 1 p. W in a spray bottle
bathtub, toilet, sink, and countertops. stovetop, appliances, countertops. floor. will eat away the soap scum /hard W stains/degrease.
2. Bleach-like: BX and LJ highly effective mixture for bathrooms. Sprinkle this combination on the surfaces of the sink, toilet bowl and bathtub and then scour with a brush.
3. Degreaser: Mix 1/2 c. VG and 1/4 c. BS into 1/2 gal (2 liters) W. Store and keep. Use for removal of W deposit stains on shower stall panels, bathroom chrome fixtures, windows, bathroom mirrors, etc. Degreases & Deoderize.
Mix 2 Tb BS with 1 pnt W in spray bottle. squeeze LJ orVGto cut grease.
Bleach/Lightening:
1. BX, LJ, sunlight
2. Mix a quarter c. of BS with a few c.s of warm W and wash down the outside of white appliances. Allow it to stand for 15 min before rinsing clean and it will help remove yellowing of the appliances and restore the whiteness.
Carpet: Simplest All-Purpose. Let sit 5 min. Scrub.
Decal or Sticker Remover: VG. Really soak it in.
Disinfectant:
1. compound of 3% HPX andVG
2. Mix 1/4 c. BX into 1/2 gal hot W. Use for wiping surfaces.
3. Soap!
4. Dryness. Bacteria can’t live where it’s dry.
5. Alcohol.
Lime Deposits: You can reduce lime deposits in your teakettle by putting in 1/2 c. (125ml) VG and 2 c.s W, and gently boiling for a few min. Rinse well with fresh W while kettle is still warm.
Mildew Remover:
1. HPX
2. White VG full strength. Don’t rinse.
Midlew Inhibitor: BX
Mold:
1. 3% HPX with V
2. Mix one p. HPX (3%) with two p. W in a spray bottle and spray on areas with mold. Wait at least 1 hr. before rinsing or using shower.
Oven:
1. Moisten oven surfaces. Sprinkle several layers of BS and let sit set for 1hr. Rub gently with fine steel wool for tough spots.
2. Salt on Stain when it spills.
Scouring Powder:
1. Apply BS directly with a damp sponge for top of stove, refrigerator and other such surfaces that should not be scratched.
2. Vinegar and Salt. Mix together for a good surface cleaner.
3. LJ andVGand/or BS.
Soap scum/Hard W dissolver: LJ
Toilet:
1. Flush the toilet to allow the W level to go down. Pour the undilutedVGaround the inside of the rim. Scrub.
2. Mix 1/4 c. BS and 1 c.VG pour into basin and let it set for a few min. Scrub with brush and rinse.
3. A mixture of BX (2 p.) and LJ (one p.) will also work. A paste will eliminate stains.
4. Flush. Sprinkle BX. Drizzle over w/V. Leave overnight.
Refinishing Old Furniture: Vegetable Oil Soap, a simple, nontoxic solvent. Follow label directions.
Water Rings on Wood: Moisture is trapped under finish. Try toothpaste or mayonnaise on a damp cloth and rub into the ring. Once the ring is removed, buff the entire wood surface.
Window/Stainless Steel/Chrome:
1. ½ c.VGin 2 c. W
2. 1 c RA, 1 c W, 1 Tb.VG Using Rol and VGtogether makes a quickly evaporating spray glass and mirror cleaner that competes with national brands. a nice shines hard tiles, chrome etc
3. 1/4 cVG 1 Tb cornstarch and 1 quart W.

DISHES:
Dishwasher Cleaner: Pour 1 c. of BS into the dishwasher and run it through the rinse cycle. It will help get rid of some of the grime that collects on the inside of the machine, as well as freshen the smell of the dishwasher.
Dishwasher Detergent: Mix together 1 1/2 Tablespoons of BS with 2 Tablespoons of BX.
Dishwashing soap:
1. Sea salt, LJ, hot W, few drops of orange essential oil
2. Mix equal BX and WS, but increase the WS if your W is hard.
Dishwasher scrubber/stain remover: ½ Lemon w/ BS poured on it

DRAINS/DISPOSALS:
Uncloggers:
1. Flexible metal snake, a plunger, salt
2. Pour 1 c. of BS down the drain followed by 1 c. of hot VG. Wait 5 min before flushing the drain with 2 quarts of hot W. Repeat.
3. 1 C. of BS and 1/2 c. of salt down the drain. Let this mixture sit in the drain for several hours, overnight is best, before flushing the drain with 2 c.s of boiling W..
Garbage Disposal Freshner:
1. 2 T. BX. Let sit 15 min, then run.
2. Citrus peels
3. BS down the drain without rinsing when you are going on vacation or even just a weekend trip. Flush the BS out of the drain with hot W or hot VG followed by hot W when you return.

FLOOR:
1. general: VG, W, 5 drops eucalyptus oil, 15 peppermint, shake
2. vinyl and linoleum: soap. add a capful of baby oil to the cleaning W to preserve and polish.
3. wood: a.)apply a thin coat of 1:1 vegetable oil and VG and rub in well. b.) oil soap
4. painted wood: mix 1 tsp. WS into 1 gal hot W. (see POLISH)
5. brick and stone tiles: mix 1 c. VG in 1 gal (4L) W; rinse with clear W.
6. ceramic tile: Mix 1/4 VG (more if very dirty) into 1 gallon W.

Special problems:
1. black heel marks: the heel mark with a paste of baking soda and water.
2. crayon marks: Toothpaste. Will not work well on wallpaper or porous surfaces.
3. remove grease from wood floors: immediately place an icecube or very cold water on the spot. The grease will harden and can then be scraped off with a knife. Then iron a piece of cloth over the grease spot.

FRAGRANCE: Essential oils. You need a lot to cover the smell of vinegar…eucalyptus works well in small doses, though.

LAUNDRY:
Fabric Brightener:
1. Add a 1/2 c. of BS to the wash when you add your regular liquid detergent. The BS has been known to give you whiter whites, brighter brights, and odor free clothing.
2. LINENS: Add ½ c to wash w/old, age-stained linens
1/2 cup of lemon juice to the rinse cycle
Fabric Softener:
1. ½ c. VG in the rinse cycle. Breaks down detergent.
2. And Odor remover: ½ c. BS in the rinse cycle.
Stain Remover (Clothes):
General:.
1. Rub a paste of 6T of BS and 1/2 c warm W onto stained clothing before laundering. Be sure to check for colorfastness first.
2. BX and W
Acids: Drain Opener, Battery Acid, Toilet Cleaner, VGomit, Urine: Quickly rinse acid spills and then sprinkle BS on your clothing to neutralize the acid and prevent damage to your clothing.
Blood Stains: BS rubbed onto a dampened blood stain can help lift the stain from the fabric.
Crayons in the Wash: Crayons accidentally washed with clothing, there may still be hope. Rewash in the hottest W allowable for the fabric, adding a 1/2 box to a box of BS.
Fruit/Wine Stains: Treat immediately, in a hurry, pour a little BS on, and then later run hot W through the back of the stain.
Sweat: A BS paste. Rub onto the clothing. Tough stains may need to let the paste sit for 1-2 hours before laundering.
Vomit: BS.

METAL CLEANERS & POLISHERS:
Aluminum: using a soft cloth, clean with a solution of cream of tartar and W. brass or bronze: polish with a soft cloth dipped in lemon and baking-soda solution, or VG and salt solution.
Brass, copper and aluminum: Paste of LJ and cream of tartar
Chrome: polish with baby oil, VG, or aluminum foil shiny side out.
Copper: soak a cotton rag in a pot of boiling W with 1 tablespoon salt and 1 c. VG. Apply to copper while hot; let cool, then wipe clean. For tougher jobs, sprinkle BS or LJ on the cloth before wiping.
Gold: clean with toothpaste, or a paste of salt, VG, and flour.
Silver:
1. Line a pan with aluminum foil and fill with W; add a tsp. each of BS and salt. Bring to a boil and immerse silver. Polish with soft cloth.
2. Aluminum foil, BS, Salt, Very hot W (boiling, maybe). Combine in clean sink. Put tarnished silver and silver-plated items in and let set a few min. Watch tarnish disappear, reappear on foil. Natural chemical reaction kids love & teaches them science!

ODOR:
Air Fresheners: Commercial fresheners coat nasal passages to diminish sense of smell.
1. Absorbtion: BS or VG with LJ in small dishes absorbs odors around the house. Houseplants help. Prevent cooking odors by simmering VG (1 Tb in 1 c. W) while cooking.
2. Vanilla: Soak vanilla in cotton ball place in car or anywhere. Reported to even remove skunk smell.
3. Ventilation: Open windows or doors in the house for at least a short period every day. This will also help to reduce toxic fumes that may be building up indoors.
4. Potpourri: Make your own potpourri from your
favorite herbs and spices. Place the potpourri in a small
basket or jar or in small sachet bags. Boil for more effect.
5. Sprays: Mix water and your favorite essential oils in a spray container. Freshens clothes, air, etc.

Odor Removers:
Carpet: a.) Sprinkle the carpet with a mixture of 1 cup Borax and 2 cups cornmeal. Let this mixture stand for an hour before vacuuming. b.) Use baking soda in same way.
General: BS.
Garbage: Put at bottom of garbage in newspaper to soak smells.
Laundry Hamper: BS at bottom of bag or BS sachets.
Musty Smell: Try mopping an uncarpeted floor/shelf with one gal warm W, 1/2 c. of VG, and 1/4 c. of BS.
Refrigerator: Put a box there. Wash w/BS & W. Sprinkle in bins.
Shoes: Sprinkle BS.
Baking Soda: Soaks up musty smells in fridge, garbage, etc.


POLISH:
Furniture/Floor:
1. 2 p. olive oil, 1 p. LJ.
Mix together in a clean new spray bottle. Use another clean cloth to polish the surface dry.
2. Mix three p olive oil and one part vinegar.
Shoe:
1. Banana Peel
2. Olive oil with a few drops of LJ can be applied to shoes with a thick cotton or terry rag. Leave for a few min; wipe and buff with a clean, dry rag.

Windham, Party of 4

We are adding one more member to our family.

And no, I'm not pregnant.

My brother, Fletcher, has moved in with us. He came up on Tuesday with my mom and Dave, and starts school this week. It's going to be a fun adventure, not just for Fletch, but for Jonathan and I as well. I'm looking forward to see what God has in plan for us all and really thrilled that Julia gets to be around her Uncle Fletch.

Now, in other news.... Julia is rolling over! She just rolls one way (when on her belly) and she's only done it a few times, but we're getting there. And when she's on her back, she rolls over on her side (especially at night). It's crazy, because it seems like it all just kinda happened over night. Before you know it, she'll be walking and talking.

This is why I love Jonathan

This morning I told Jonathan we were running low on diapers, but that we were expecting to get some in the mail (present from my aunt) today. His response: "Well, sweetie, you just let me know if we need any. And I can pick some up, Raising Arizona style".

***Disclaimer*** There is some bad language in the following video.