Bummer dude

This past month has really been a tough one. Things just seem to get harder and harder as it goes on, fun for me! Part of me wants to just hurry as quickly as I can past all these trials and see life on the other side. But I'm realizing that's not what God wants.

I spent about an hour pouring my heart out to my sister-in-law, Shelly, and her best advice was, "get before God, more than ever." And so I have. I've been pushing myself hard this last week, reading and praying more than I have in a long time. At first it seemed so refreshing, and then my flesh got irritated. I hit a road block on Sunday. I was upset, sad, angry, and hurt. I wanted to give up. I wanted to say "This sucks. I'm going to bed, don't wake me till Jesus comes back." But, deep inside my spirit kept pushing.

So I pushed more. Today I feel rejuvenated. I'm still struggling, but I'm using scripture to fight it.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 10:37-39 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Matthew 16:24-25 "24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Psalm 121 "I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."