Pregnancy musings, or, Thoughts from a Hippo

My tinker finally hit the 9 month mark. 4 weeks left and counting.

There are a few things that I've come to realize over the last month:

1. No matter how high your self esteem is, when you can't get out of bed on your own you tend to think maybe you're a tad on the "big" size.

2. When you walk into HyVee and hear someone say "Wow, you've gotten really big" you automatically think they are talking about you. Only when you turn around do you realize they are talking to a 5 year old.

3. If you go on a weekend getaway with your hubby, don't be surprised if the people running the B&B give you the name and number of the local nurse "just in case".

4. Even though you might forget at times that your pregnant (maybe it's just me, but I'm a rather forgetful person and can even forget I'm pregnant... if for all of 2 seconds) you are rudely reminded when you try to do the following:

A. Wash dishes
B. Do laundry
C. Get up from a chair
D. Sit down in a chair
E. Walk
F. Try to jump up on a counter top to sit (yes, I actually did this last night. Don't ask why I thought I could do it, but I think it's because I honest forgot about the basketball I have under my shirt).

5. Laying down has never been so scary. I can't even recline in a chair without my breathing being cut off.

6. Mostly, I've come to realize that while my body is no longer my own, I can't begin to express the joy I have when I feel my daughter move, hiccup, kick or anything else. It really has been an amazing 36 weeks, and I am truly grateful to God for every last minute of it.

It's okay, I'm still awesome

This morning I went over to Jonathan's office to drop off his phone that I forgot to give him before we left the house. Then we decided to walked down from the 3rd floor of the hospital to the 1st to put a few letters in the mail. Before we left I needed to take a potty break.

I went into the girl's bathroom, thinking "Wow, did they change this since the last time I was here? It's a lot smaller than I remember". Nevertheless, I do my business. Surrounding me are some rather inappropriate comments, and the thought passes through my brain "Man, girls are kinda vulgar".

I leave the stall to wash my hands, only to come face to face with a urinal. That's right, I was standing in the men's restroom. I quickly turned around and went straight for the door. When I came out Jonathan looks at me funny and we both look at the sign next to the door that clearly says "MEN". He's response, "Did you just go in the guy's room?". Yes, yes I did. I am a genius in a dunce hat. But it's okay, I'm still awesome.

Flaunt what ya momma gave ya

I never grew up really celebrating Halloween. I went trick or treating a few times, but nothing worth while. Once I was older, well, I was older, and who goes knocking on their neighbors' doors for candy at 25?

However, every year since I've moved to Iowa I've attended a Halloween party. My co-worker loves Halloween and goes all out each year with a top notch gathering. Since this will most likely be our last year to attend (as we've decided Baby Dubya won't be partaking in Halloween), I figured I needed to go all out with my costume and big belly.

Here are some of my personal favorites:

























I've thought about being a redneck with a big ol' beer belly; wear some tattered jeans, a white shirt that shows the bottom of my stomach, get a mullet wig and carry around a beer. Maybe Jonathan could be my "woman".