Today on MySpace I found my old roommate from when I lived in San Antonio. I had tracked her down on Facebook last summer and thought I might look for her today on MySpace. I did. And then I requested her as a friend.
After I requested her as a friend I found myself "editing" my page. I changed a few things to seem cooler, funnier and more exciting, and thus becoming less "me" and more "hip and trendy". And then it dawned on me, why am I so afraid of what she thinks?
When this girl was my roommate I tried hard to live a life that would impress her. I spent more money then I earned, drank excessively, partied even more and lived a life outside of myself. When I found it hard to stay the course with my "new life" I broke down. All the lies I told were unraveling. My family wasn't rich like hers, my childhood wasn't great, and I wasn't popular like her normal friends. I was just me. And it ruined our friendship. While for a long time I placed the blame on her, about 2 years ago I realized it was my fault. Had I been true from the beginning she would have know me not the version of "Sarah" I wished her to see.
It makes me a little sad that part of me was/is so quick to change, but at least I realized it sooner. Who knows if she'll accept my request, but one thing is for sure; I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
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2 comments:
Sarah- thanks for sharing that. It is funny (sad maybe?) how quickly we can be to want to impress men instead of God. I know I've done it too, but it is good that you caught yourself and realized you do not need to be ashamed of being yourself.
Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Mrs. W-
Thanks for being open and honest. I am glad that I know and enjoy the real Sarah!
Ps. Thanks for always commenting on my blogs- I know I can always count on you! :)
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